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There are over a million American active duty personnel stationed worldwide at any given time. Many of them are married and many of them don’t manage to stay married. And when they don’t, they and their spouses can end up facing a whole slew of issues that their civilian counterparts who are breaking up don’t have to deal with.

If your soon-to-be ex is in the military, you can end up facing a number of complications, including where your divorce will be filed, how alimony and child support will be calculated, how to divide the military pension, and what to do about custody and visitation if children are involved.

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If you’re going through a military divorce, you’re in a whole different category from your civilian counterparts. One of the biggest issues you can encounter is the division of your spouse’s military pension. It’s an asset, and you want to be assured of getting your fair share, so what do you do?


The first thing you should do is ask about the pension when you begin divorce proceedings – don’t try to deal with it once the decree has been issued. Even if it looks like your spouse won’t be retiring for a long time, you should still get a court order that provides for equitable division of the pension.

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Divorce isn’t easy. It brings anger, resentment and emotional turmoil, and that’s in the best of circumstances. When you’re involved in a military divorce, you have a whole additional set of complications.

Military divorce is different from civilian divorce, and if you’ve lived on base for any length of time, you’ve almost certainly witnessed breakups, and heard military spouses talking about the 10/10 rule. So what is it, exactly?

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When you’re living as a civilian, divorce isn’t really all that difficult. You decide to split up, and then you file wherever you live. When one spouse is in the military, though, it’s not uncommon for a couple to actually own property in one state, be living in another state, and have gotten married in yet another. As if that’s not complicated enough, the couple could have been moved to a state where they’re living, but they might not have been there long enough to achieve resident status. So, where do they file for divorce? Does it matter?

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We’ve all heard the supposed statistics that half of all marriages end in divorce. Are these statistics real, though? The problem with those statistics is that they go year by year. So, if 100 marriages happen in a given year, and 50 divorces occur, does that really mean that half of all marriages end in divorce? No, it doesn’t. Why? Because marriages are recorded in the year that they occur. So are divorces. A marriage that occurred, say, in 2013, didn’t necessarily end in the same year. The statistics are skewed.

That said, however, it can’t be disputed that divorce is a good deal more common these days than it was in our grandparents’ era, or even in our parents’ era.  You’ve probably heard people use the term “starter marriage,” or even refer to their spouse as “my first husband” or “my first wife.” That’s sad.

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If you are thinking about filing for an uncontested divorce, it can understandably be tempting to try a do-it-yourself divorce. Many couples believe that not involving attorneys will save them money and make the process go faster so they can easily move on with their lives.

The majority of these couples are in for the troubling surprise, because DIY divorces typically create more hassle and greater expenses than if you seek legal guidance or let an attorney handle the process for you.

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When you see that your marriage is coming to an end, it may be difficult and stressful to wrap your head around the many implications, but you must begin preparing for the difficult process which lies ahead as soon as possible to prevent further stress and dilemma. One area that often becomes the most complicated to deal with is the area of spousal support, also known as alimony.

Whether or not you realize it, your marriage is viewed as a form of legal agreement. You and your spouse agreed to form this partnership, and when the partnership ends, you have to come to a fair and just decision regarding how assets and income are going to be divided amongst the two of you. This includes ensuring that both spouses have sufficient income based on the standards established during the marriage, both after the divorce is filed and after it is finalized.

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The very nature of an uncontested divorce makes it clear why they are quickly growing in popularity as a preferred way to end a marriage. If the divorce is uncontested, this means that both spouses have come to an agreement that they would like a divorce, and neither spouse is going to fight the process in any way. When both spouses are on board with an uncontested divorce, a fast, simple, and easier divorce process becomes possible.

Why is an uncontested divorce faster than a conventional divorce?

When the divorce is uncontested, it is possible for the spouses to negotiate conditions and terms outside of the court system. If there are properties, assets, or liabilities that need to be divided, the couple can decide these matters on their own during a private mediation. This is even more of a factor when there are multiple decisions to be made, as taking the traditional divorce route, or a seeking a contested divorce, can take ages.

Contested divorces take much longer because your divorce proceedings have to go through an often strained and clogged court system. You have to wait for your hearing to be scheduled, coordinate with lawyers, and wait for your ruling. If your case requires multiple court appearances, the entire divorce process can take months, all the while your expenses will be growing significantly.

During an uncontested divorce, you can iron out all of the details of your divorce through meetings and negotiations with your spouse and simply file your agreement with the court.

What makes an uncontested divorce easier?

As mentioned before, uncontested divorces have the added benefit of avoiding drawn out trials. Instead, your personal matters can be kept personal, as you and your spouse discuss divorce conditions and come to agreements on your own. When these decisions get dragged into court, couples may find themselves in a spiteful battle that could have been avoided.

When couples are able to negotiate privately, with the help of a divorce attorney or mediator, they can be more flexible and harmonious. This can make it much easier to possibly forgive your spouse and begin to rebuild and move on with your life much sooner.

Keeping Your Divorce from Becoming Contested

If fair agreements cannot be met, or if complicated issues such as child custody are involved, an uncontested divorce runs a higher risk of becoming contested. In order to avoid this scenario, couples should enlist the help and guidance of a divorce attorney throughout the entire process.

Divorce is already hard enough without having to watch as your marriage and finances are torn apart and scrutinized during a lengthy trial process involving a judge. What if you could bypass this experience, save some money, and move on with your new life as soon as possible?

Many separating couples have discovered that this is often what an uncontested divorce provides, making demand for these types of divorces increasingly more popular than their conventional counterparts.

There are many reasons why uncontested divorces have become the most popular form of divorce throughout the United States, but here are our Top 4:

  1. Control is given the to couple, not the courts – During an uncontested divorce, the couples are able come to agreements such as the division of property and liabilities, as well as child custody, child support, and alimony payments. Instead of having these decisions made through court rulings, the couple can discuss them privately or with the help of a divorce attorney or mediator, based on what seems fair to each spouse, not a judge.
  1. Less Cost to the Couple – If there is one thing that everyone associates with divorces, it is that they can potentially be extremely expensive. However, uncontested divorces certainly do not have to be. Because uncontested divorces can be completed more quickly and with little to no need for family courts, the couple going through the process can save a lot of money when compared to a traditional divorce proceeding.
  1. A More Amicable Split – Divorces are always difficult and emotional. However, a conventional court process can turn individuals against each other even more as they battle each other through a trial than if they were only dealing with the process on their own. If the divorce is uncontested, the couple is able to work together and compromise, which can make it easier for both parties to maintain propriety and be better able to heal and move on much sooner.
  1. Faster Means of Divorce – Conventional divorces can be tied up in the court system for months on end. If the spouses are able to come to agreements that satisfy each party, outside of court, the entire process can be completed much faster. If child custody and child support are in question, these issues may need to be heard by a family court to ensure that the child is protected, which also means getting the children involved in the court system. An uncontested divorce is much faster and simpler than the alternative, allowing the parties to work out all issues privately.

While uncontested divorces do place much more power into the hands of the couple, it is safe and wise to enlist the help of an experienced divorce attorney. These professionals can guide you through the process, help you come to fair agreements, and reduce conflicts that could lead you to a contested divorce.

Did you know that outside of NAVY Seals and police officers, dancers and bartenders have the next highest divorce rate among types of careers?

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